What exactly is the best type of photographer? And how do you become one?
These are both very important questions for us to consider. Just remember that, unlike some other photiac sign lists, this one is absolutely tried, tested, and proven to be accurate. I’m hoping through this photiac list of fauxtography signs, I can help you figure out what your sign is and how it measures up against the others.
The Professional (December 22 – January 19): This photographer is a professional. They show up, they do the job, and then they get paid. No show, all substance. They’re knowledgeable, quick to help those starting, and all-around an outstanding person. Great job, Professional!
The Photophile (January 20 – February 18): The Photophile loves photographs. They just love them. They might not know much about gear and may not photograph much themselves, but they know the what’s what of how everything is shot. In their zest though, they sometimes miss the forest for the trees.
The Artist (February 19 – March 20): The Artist is very in tune with the way the world works. They understand things on an intuitive level and tend to delve into things in detail; they then reflect this in their photos, which are at once technical and emotive. Just be careful, they’ll keep inviting you to exhibition openings, which can get a bit intense! But who doesn’t love free food and an open bar?
The Fauxtographer (March 21 – April 19): He (because let’s face it, it’s usually a he) got his camera a few weeks ago. He’s desperate to photograph models in skimpy clothing, but that’s the extent of conceptualizing there. The other signs are better off moving along and ignoring him until he figures out that that’s not the way to do things.
The Commercial (April 20 – May 20): The commercial is the most technically capable of the photiac signs. He or she can calculate f-stops and lighting ratios on a whim and does so for fun. Their work is impeccable, and they not only have their finger on the times but are the masters of the zeitgeist.
The Indecent Exposure (May 21 – June 20): The Indecent Exposure only ever photographs the best-looking models in the least amount of clothing. What the average photiac sign doesn’t know is that The Indecent Exposure truly sees everyone equally and that their intuition is The Indecent Exposure’s secret to drawing out the best in their subject.
The NFT (June 21 – July 22): The NFT loves to talk about their nifties. If you meet The NFT, you should ask them about their nifties. No one except for The NFT knows what a nifty is though! So, just be careful, as the NFT will go into great detail!
The Gearhead (July 23 – August 22): Want to know what the latest and greatest gadget, what a Bayer filter does, or why Canon is the best brand in the world? Look no further, the gearhead has got you covered. They may not have taken a photograph in the last 4 years but that’s fine when you know every minute detail of all the gadgets and gizmos that are out there.
The Film Guru (August 23 – September 22:) The film guru is a free spirit. They live in the moment but aren’t tied down to conventions. Their images harken to a dream state whether it is of yesteryear or a future to come. Their only flaw is that “they only shoot film.” If you can overlook this about them, then they aren’t that bad to be around.
The Old-Timer (September 23 – October 22): The Old-Timer is a bit of a wildcard. They’re the oldest of the photiac signs and have been doing this well before the others were born. Unfortunately, it’s a bit of a luck of a draw and toss of the coin whether the Old-Timer has anything of value to contribute or not. Some Old-Timers are extremely knowledgeable and intuitive, but just as many are out of touch with the way things work. In either case, they know everyone and the who’s whos of the photography world.
The Harness (October 23 – November 21): The Harness specializes in live events. Whether it’s a wedding or a live show, they are there! They can catch every moment in the most perfect way. The only downside is their constant back pain from carrying multiple cameras on a belt or a harness. If nothing else, at least they look cool with all that gear and long lenses?
The Influencer (November 22 – December 21): The Influencer has more followers than they know what to do with. They love to chase “aesthetics” and “vibes,” but no one knows what that even means. One thing is for certain, though: they are meticulous with their self-portraits, which are all taken in the most exotic of locations that no one has ever heard of.
I hope you learned a bit about the different photiac signs and what they all mean! I know that with the new year I can’t wait to start charging my lithium-ion crystals and basking my light meter in rays of 5,500 K lighting. Well, maybe a bit more or a bit less than 5,500 K, but we can hope, no?
I’m keen to know which one you are and whether you see yourself as that? Let me know in the comments below!
But in closing, the last couple of years have been a bit tough all around. Most of us have struggled with the pandemic, so hopefully, this fun little article brought a smile to your face. Here’s hoping 2022 isn’t 2020, too. So, from myself and everyone else here at FStoppers, hope you had a good closing to last year, and onto much bigger and better things for the year ahead! No, but really, back to the topic at hand earlier. I am keen to know which one you are! And whether you resonated with it! Do let me know in the comments below!
Images by Briarna Dal Col. Used with permission.
Thanks for making me smile, Ali.
Re "bigger and better things", didn't you learn your lesson last year? It can get a lot worse, and looking at geopolitics...
You're very welcome! I was a bit unsure if this would quite land but I'm glad you got a chuckle! And absolutely, I try to knock on wood every time I say or do anything.
"The Gearhead (July 23 – August 22)"
Damn it yuh got me lmao. I do love gear but I've been learning the past few years now that I have all this gear that it doesn't matter as much as I once thought. I still collect cameras for the same reason I collect watches. I just love the mechanics behind how they work and want to experience as many cool cameras and watches as possible!